Before entering The National Poo Museum’s head quarters, I reminded myself that I must do so as quietly and discretely as possible, since museum directors Daniel Roberts and Nigel George were playing host to a television film crew from Belgium.
Craning my neck round the doorway, I spied among the now legendary poo spheres, a young man weaving his hand up director Daniel’s pullover, threading him with wires and carrying out some sort of microphone adjustment. Standing next to Daniel, and cupping a freshly polished monkey poo in his hands, was a suited gentleman, whom I was later introduced to as the most famous presenter in the whole of Belgium.
Stijn Van der Stockt and his team had come to our shores to make a series of programs celebrating Britain’s eccentricities. It would seem, the good folks of Belgium have a real affection for the UK and they are terribly sad that we’re departing the European Union and taking our quirkiness with us! The film crew were travelling the length and breadth of the country, meeting all sorts of folks doing all sorts of unconventional and extraordinary things. Hence their visit to The National Poo Museum!
During a break in filming, museum director Daniel talked to the crew of four about the processes involved in drying and encapsulating the museum’s poo specimens. In a passing shot to Stijn, Daniel revealed that the museum was ever hopeful for the poo of a celebrity to add to their collection. At that moment, ‘the most famous presenter in the whole of Belgium’ and his colleagues suddenly erupted into their native Flemish, and after a few moments of chat and an awful lot of raucous laughter…well, what can I say? A donation was offered, and let’s just say, a donation was accepted…and what’s more, a donation was received!!!
Setting aside the humour behind Stijn’s very generous contribution, a delighted and very appreciative Nigel George said, “Stijn has just done a great service to mankind. The more relaxed and comfortable we are to talk about poo and poo-related issues, we have the potential to save lives.”
And with that, the film crew packed up their equipment, loaded their vehicle and set off for their Solent ferry crossing to the Mainland, where they were due to meet the ‘Dull Men of Winchester’, who as it turns out, are not at all dull, they’re apparently very interesting!
So, should you have access to Belgium television, do look out in a few weeks time for ‘BYE BYE BRITAIN’ to see The National Poo Museum, along with a host of other British trailblazers informing and entertaining our European cousins.
So, the only question now is, who will be celebrity number 2…to offer a number 2?
Watch this space!!!